My husband thinks I’m a bit crazy . . . Well, maybe a bit
crazier than usual. This summer I
took a road trip across the country, from Buffalo through Denver and Salt Lake
City to the Oregon coast and Spokane, then home again. Six thousand miles, give
or take, in less than two weeks, so perhaps I could be forgiven for thinking a few
things seemed off when I returned. Like the tire store near the café where I
like to write. It just looked wrong
to me, the first time I saw it when I returned to Buffalo, and it took me a few
minutes to realize the whole façade of the building had been changed: new
color, new type of siding running vertically rather than horizontally. Easily
explained, once I really noticed what I was seeing, but still an eerie feeling:
that sensation of the ground shifting underfoot. When I told my husband that story, he gave me
The Look. The one that says, “You’re kind of odd, and you’re lucky I like you.”
The writer in me loves those moments when the orderly world
slips a bit. It’s when I’m off-kilter that the story engine begins to rumble,
as though it’s easier to ask ‘What if?’ at those times when I’m not sure
exactly where I’m standing. There’s the neighbor whose yard maybe had no trees
at one point, or two trees, but definitely has only one tree . . . today. There
are the shadows glimpsed from the corner of my eye, the ones that could maybe
have a life of their own. That used to
happen a lot more often, and then life threw me a few extra stress curve balls,
and existence became much more about keeping my head above the current rather
than sightseeing.
But this summer, traveling through parts of the world I’d
never been before, I saw wonderful things. Strange territories. And when I
returned to Buffalo, and even the familiar terrain seemed a little off, it was
like coming home in a different way. The universe had given me back something I
thought I’d lost. It was the gift of wonder, and it made me look at everything
on the slant again.
Crater Lake National Park, Oregon
Custer, Montana
As much as I love living in the future—and I’ll talk about
that tomorrow—there’s a downside to having so much explained, so much mapped
out and contained. It’s easy to lose that sense of wonder, to assume that
everything is orderly just because it
appears to be on the surface. Those moments that catch me off guard remind me
how many layers existence has. I don’t ever want to forget the glorious mystery
inherent in life and in art.
One of my favorite singers is Jesca Hoop, with her intricate
lyrics and unusual way of looking at the world.
Her “Seed of Wonder” embodies for me what makes her work great, and why
having that sense of wonder is so vital.
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